As we grow older we take on different roles that takes so much of us. Two of those things are being a wife and a mother. I sincerely believe that being both in the same setting, meaning having your own family, there might come a time wherein you may have lost yourself.
When my mom and I use to Sharon Cuneta movie entitled "Nang Iwanan Mo Ako" (When You Left Me). The movie is about a woman whose husband left her with almost nothing for a different woman. It took a toll on her since all she knew was taking care of her husband and their child. She was so lost at the beginning that she almost went into depression. Til she realized that she needed to do something. Having the knack for making good food, she went into business for purposes of paying bills. But through this process she learned that she had the ability to create something outside the once-comfort of marriage.
Having had a mom who worked day and night and still had the time to cook meals, iron my clothes and clean the house, I can't help but wonder if she really felt alive, herself and at her most happiest. Was her desire as woman met? Was she able to accomplish everything she wanted in her life? Was she ultimately happy? Was being a wife and mother enough to keep her smiling everyday? What else did she want but couldn't voice out
Or was she just contented, settled that in this country you are not given a choice to get of a marriage that is not helping you grow and feel accomplished?
I believe in marriage. I believe that we are not destined to live alone in this world. But what if that necessarily is not through marriage? What if the tradition and usual expectation of having a family is not entirely fit for every Filipina? What if we can only find happiness outside our marriage?
I know many of you will say that one shouldn't enter into a marriage if one has second thoughts. But who marries with doubt? All of us dream of the fairytale happily ever after. Many would also say that one shouldn't get out of marriage just because we it working out or the going gets tough. That the couple should work it out.
For those of you who are wondering, I am all for Kris filing for annulment irregardless of how it would affect her brother's reputation, her family's name or her career. For me, a woman unhappy breeds unhappy children. If only by this will she find a way to her happiness, by all means do so. No Filipina takes annulment lightly, that I believe. And mostly likely, she has thought it through. Having a president for brother or having a prestigious name will NOT guarantee a life free of troubles. We should all do what we can to find that opening for true happiness.
I know men and maybe other women will have tons of rebuttal with regard to this topic. But this is what I believe in. It is better to get out of a marriage with someone you use to love than stay in a marriage with someone you will begin to hate.
Note: I didn't include religious beliefs in marriage here because that will be a Pandora's box I refuse to open. This POV in not about religion but the ultimate happiness of a woman I prefer not to mention God here because I think every woman who wants to get out of a marriage consults God at the beginning, at the middle and at the end of her every decision.
P.S. No point in posting negative comments about my opinion because comment box is moderated. Make your own blog and post your opinion there instead. Peace!